Advice

These articles provide advice and guidance about getting married, enjoying marital bliss and raising children.

If you want advice on any specific topic that is not covered in these articles, please submit a question, by clicking here.

Back to Advice List
Educating a man vs. educating a woman
It is only a couple of decades ago, we used to often say that 'if a man is educated, one person is educated, but if a woman is educated, the whole family is educated'.

Unfortunately, that wisdom seems to be failing. There is a number of troubled families where the wife is, actually, super educated!

Why is this happening? Because the education the women (and men) are getting is only good for getting money home, but not good for creating a family life using that money. While people are spending many years and lots of money in getting the education that gives them money, they are not spending any time or effort understanding how to build a life of a family with that money. It is like a bird that only knows how to collect more straw, but doesn't know how to make a nest out of it. Our times are such, that both wife and husband compete with each other in collecting the straw and neither of them knows how to weave the nest. And especially, how to weave it together!

Some may be thinking 'don't we know how to build a nest naturally, just like the birds do?'. The answer is no. Human life is more complicated and humans are far more diverse than any other species. The offspring of the other species live exactly the same way as their parents did. The mating rituals, the male-female relationship, the parent-offspring relationship are all hardwired into every individual of those species, in exactly the same way, where as they vary widely in the case of humans.

Other species do not have a long marital life as humans do. Other species do not have extended families as humans do. They don't live with in-laws or take care of parents in their old age. They don't have to manage finances or social expectations. They don't have laws of the land that govern family relationships. They don't have anything like an inheritance. They don't have to worry about the differences in personalities or ambitions. It is to handle these complexities that we need education.

Consider married life equivalent to mountaineering. There are fantastic views out there awaiting you. But if you slip, you can break your leg or even lose your life in an instant. Winds and climate can change suddenly in mountain regions without warning. That is why people interested in mountaineering learn from experienced mountaineers. Anyone getting into married life shall do the same. They should learn from the experienced.

During the agricultural age, which preceded the current industrial age, people lived in communities and young families always had the benefit of the presence of mature adults around them, to give advice as needed. But young people of today do not have that benefit. They have to face all the challenges by themselves. That is why many families are undergoing strain. Without proper education and coaching, the families are bound to fail in large numbers. We, as a society, should not let that happen. We need to compensate somehow for what we lost in our transition from the agricultural age to the industrial age.

Grihastha's Workshops and Personal guidance are a step in that specific direction, to connect the young people with experienced people. The young people will learn a lot about married life from the marriage gurus in our workshops and from family coaches who give personal guidance.